Point Four: Write about your Dad. What would you like people to know?
My Father is a private man, a family man and my best friend. To all who know me personally, there is no question of me being a Daddy's Girl. We were devastatingly estranged for two years after my parents separated and if you ask Anthony, he'll tell you I was a broken person without my Dad in my life.
My Dad is happily married to a wonderfully kind lady, I've been blessed with a lovely stepsister, brother-in-law, a niece and nephew. They are one big happy family, we get on like a house on fire and they all love Anthony too. Many people say I have chosen a man exactly like my Father and at times, even I can see the similarities between my lovely Dad & my gorgeous Beardy.
Dad is the most intelligent person I have ever met, extremely logical and at times emotionally unavailable (through no fault of his own). To Dad, I will always be his baby, his Vv, his little girl. No matter how old I get, Dad still loves to snuggle with me on the sofa, eat ice cream, kiss my head, smell my hair, laugh and watch anything with animals.
No one in this world understands me like Dad. It's like we have the same mind! Dad always makes me laugh and has the ability to explain anything and everything to me, in a way I will understand. He is never patronising about my limitations and difficulties in life and forever praises me for how I manage in life, how I carry on through the toughest of situations and manage money like no one else in our immediate family ever has.
Both my parents have found my various diagnoses difficult to come to terms with (and that's putting it lightly). Dad doesn't like to talk about it, but if I need to talk about it he is always there to listen. With Dad, I always feel like I am heard not just listened to and I am never dismissed. At times Dad won't understand how I am feeling and I've come to learn that, that is okay. Dad doesn't always need to understand, but he always accepts how I feel regardless of his understanding or not. It's one of the many traits I admire about him.
Dad has a brilliant and academic job, it is considered vital to the daily lives of most people and I am so proud of the contributions Dad and his team have made to helping those in need, during this pandemic. Being an uncommonly intelligent person and having the deep desire to know how all things work, Dad has spent many years picking apart my various symptoms and diagnosees to try and grasp what I cope with in general and on a day by day basis.
For example; I desperately needed a new motorised wheelchair. We contacted wheelchair services as recommended by my GP, I got through to the occupational teams, physios and was referred to adult social services in Surrey. Wheelchair services differ greatly depending on your location in the UK and their current funding. Due to poor funding and various safety guidelines, I was told that I would never be given an electric chair, so why only option was to purchase one.
Dad spent 6 months researching varying chairs and their components, various companies, spirited debate with me and the consideration of future proofing my wheelchair and ongoing care. Low and behold, we finally found the perfect chair for me, from an amazing company and Dad insisted he would pay for the wheelchair, as long as I insured it. Done👍🏼. Dad had seen my struggle with not having a chair and refused to see me live like that any longer. So he saved and saved and bought me my chair outright.
Dad is a vibrant Grandad, so hands on, a great teacher and provider. Dad is always loyal to the ones he loves and highly values; honesty, integrity and logic. With Dad, you always know where you stand, he is down to earth, loving, supportive, has a fantastic sense of humour and will drop everything for me in a heartbeat. Like many men his age, he has mellowed as time has gone on and now wants to live a simple, easy existence - which he has found and whole-heartedly deserves. Dad is now starting to live life for him and him alone, but he never forgets his baby❤️.
I am of the firm belief that every child should have two parents, especially father's. As a young woman, I have measured every man in my life against my Dad (we have an unwavering respect for one another) and it has become obvious why the love of my life, mirrors parts of my Dad. I learnt very early on what I want and expect from a man and Anthony gives me all those things my Father has and continues to provide. A dear friend, loyalty, stability, honesty, stubbornness, integrity, the ability to speak his mind, to be true to who he really is and unconsciously allowing me to do the same, letting me know I am loved, protected and secure without even muttering a word, to be vulnerable and have pure trust in me in that moment, the care and compassion that is set aside only for the people who truly deserve it and finally, encouraging me at every point to stand up and stand proudly for the things I most deeply believe in and not be moved.
Thank you for showing me what real love is Daddy, I often feel I owe my happiness to you. Thank you for always allowing me to be my authentic self around you and for never judging me on my life choices. Your love, support and friendship keep me going in the tough times and help me celebrate the good times. Thank you for getting on so well with my beautiful in-laws and for recognising the light and love they bring into my life.
Without a role model like you, the darkest times of my life would have swallowed me whole, but you have always been there and kept me safe.
"You don't catch me when I fall, but you do sit with me in the dark, help me heal, regrow and transcend into the light."
- Willow Lennard